Wow, thanks for this, this is exactly the critique I wanted.

If anyone else wants to tear me apart like this it is very welcome - really This is gold and I will get to work tweaking pretty much everything you say.

The only point I have comment back on is where you say I should ask them to mail 2-3x for me. I have done a launch in another niche before and getting people to mail and making it a valuable offer for them was a nightmare. Pretty much everyone wanted a return mail or they wouldn't do it.. now I am prepared to offer return mails for big affiliates - like people with 30, 50, 80k lists, but if I agree to everyone then I have 10-20 people to mail back for and my list switch off after the launch...

... this is my email for recruiting people who are middle tier, and I tried to put a package together for them which would work and give them value, and asking them to mail multiple times sort of diminishes this value.. no? In reality the ones that mail once and send a load of useful traffic I will be following up with and looking to do further individual cross promotions with in the future for sure... this is enough for me if it means I get more people on board in the first instance... can you see my point, or is it still a little backwards?


Okay Edit: ^^^ I just read the second thread you made and I see your point that it will actually work better for getting more sales, and I believe you... but still, I don't really like to be mailing more than twice for other people, and especially not if I am doing regular cross promotions... the real value is the traffic you get back and joins your list rather than the traffic you send out... it seems as if everyone I encounter "knows" this and is protective over their lists too..

I really appreciate your time replying like this - I can see it took some personal effort on your part, and I am a little embarrassed - I thought I was quite solid on minor language elements like this which really make a difference, but seems you pointed out about 10 and I completely agree

Dan