I figure SOME input is better than none... I could shoot multiple holes in this but let me highlight a couple as I gotta get back to a couple of things...

* starts with "personal invite", nothing about it seems personal. You don't address them by name, you don't mention a connection, you don't reference their site, you don't ______ (there's nothing custom about them). ANd you talk about you as we. If it's truly personal, then it's one on one

* email starts off immediately with "we would like" ... that's nice buddy, I'm busy, I have my business and my life on my mind, I don't care what YOU WOULD LIKE. Who are you and why is this email chewing up my time. Benefit to THEM gets mentioned first. What YOU would like is not important yet.

* the "send you traffic" is good, but I would have Deleted the email as soon as I saw "we would like to get".

* "I think you fit into these categories." ... you THINK I fit into these categories. No no no... ass kissing time. "We're only inviting ________ and you match that profile and then some!!" (or word it better but not "I think you kinda sorta maybe aren a solid business owner)

* The fact that you have the BENEFITS TO YOU is good. But the next section is "We require just one thing in return". The word require. It's strong. Request, ask, etc. Or simply label it as "BENEFITS To US"... the business owner is intelligent enough to realize that you benefit too.

* I'll definitely also argue the "mail just once about our launch". Really? Just once eh. No, that's not the kind of JV partner I want. A shot-gun affiliate who pitches something once and then tomorrow pitches something else. No... I want them to first see if all this is right for them and their audience. But if it is, I want to know they'll take it more seriously... 2-3 mailings at least. Top affs mail 4-6 times for the same offer. Followup/repetition is CRUCIAL for higher open rates.

I'll post another topic right now that talks of this. See if anyone on this board or in your social circle who has produced 5-figure+ commissions for a launch or a promotion will argue it. So definitely suggest you re-consider your position.

* I certainly don't want to be rude..... but this "This shows us you are serious, understand internet marketing, and are interested to develop a relationship on a longer duration with us" ... no, to me it would communicate the opposite. If they only mail once it tells me they are NOT serious and they do NOT understand basic Sales 101 (about the important of repetition/followup) and they are NOT here for a longer term relationship.

and while I'm sure there are dozens of other tweaks you can make ... a final BIG BIG one is this:

"For more information please feel free to reply to this address a"

THAT is a big deal. Give them phone, twitter, facebook, skype, a roadmap to your house, SOS signals, sign language training... whatever it takes... make it *EASY* for them to reach you. Of course, most important is include your PHONE. Let them call. You WANT to talk to them either way.

k... I'm posting another thread right now that I think will help clarify my point about the "single mailing"