There's a post in here somewhere that talks about different affiliate programs and the pro's and con's etc...
A good all around shopping cart tool, email management, affiliate program, etc is Marc Goldman's Goldbar1...
I have a few really good programming companies that I could put you through to depending on the work... if it's related to web stuff PM me and I'll put you in touch with my main programmers. If it's software related I use www.rentacoder.com and www.elance.com (which I'm sure you've already used)...
I don't have a good recommendation for you for software based programs though, sorry.
30K list is pretty good if the list converts decently... if not, then it wouldn't matter if your list was 200K, you wouldn't sell much. All things aside, people want to see results when they do JV's and if you can show results then you're set.
A big hitter is more or less someone who can make a LOT of sales... some of the guys I work with have 80K, 100K 250K lists... those guys are almost always the top affiliates though... so they are BIG hitters lol.
with 30K you could be considered a big hitter if your list was responsive.
The best thing to do is to keep your lists sub-listed so that you can sell more targeted products to them.