Please critique my review site.

[tryhg25367]

I am Highly thankfull for the last responce threads that I got from you all. I have finished the website and I am ready to present it towards the owner of the product I plan to promote so I can get the permission to promote his product but I am not sure I have what it takes. my review site is www.masstrafficcraze.com please feel free to send me your opinions and critism on what it needs to be better. Thank you very much.

[dev.null]

Hey Justin,

First let me say that I encourage you to keep working at your ideas and never give up. Every marketer has their share of setbacks and learning experiences, if you learn from them instead of getting discouraged you can only get better.

The first thing that strikes me is it doesn't seem like English is your first language. There are some phrases you use that would pass a spell checker but wouldn't pass the average reader:

...chit chatter... (just 'chatter')
...through adsense but non of them... (but none of them)
...Now keep I this was around... (Now keep this in mind, it was around the time I)
...as a quick means to gain a dollar... (as a way to get a quick buck OR as a quick means to get a buck)
...schedule that was hell to upkeep... (schedule that was hell to keep up with)



Then there are some obvious spelling issues:

...called Mass ppv Traffic wa s a... (called Mass PPV Traffic was a) - always cap PPV
...I thought it was a goo product... (I thought it was a good product)



Then the fonts don't look so good. That bold black font you use beneath the images is almost too blurry. I think you're trying to put too much content in, so you made it bold to get it to stand out then had to shrink it down to not look like it was too much.


These are all just first impressions. Remember, you've got 15 seconds to capture someone and either get them to opt-in or they are moving on. When people see common language errors like those above they think "if this is what he did with his sales page, I don't want to find out what he did with the product".

There are some other things to do as well, like put an opt-in form in the top right corner - don't make someone wade through all that sales text to just click a link. You'll lose them. If they see the opt-in form, as they scroll down they remember it - at the point where they say "hmm, this is something I want to investigate" they will scroll up and key their info in. If they have to hunt for the form you will lose A LOT, if they have to click a link to go to another page to opt in, you will lose even more. I heard a long time ago (maybe someone can give some up to date stats) that for every click they have to go through you lose half your visitors.

I hope you don't take me as just being overly critical. You asked for help, so I'm giving it. I'm not good with copy myself, I'd rather have someone else write it.

It kinda strikes me as odd that the product you're selling taught you how to write a landing page, then this is the landing page you're writing. It doesn't speak well for the product.

I'm not one of the big boys, I'm not here just to knock you down so I can feel good. You probably won't get any feedback from the big boys, they won't waste their time commenting on your site.

Good luck!

[A Afaneh]

i have few suggestions

change the font and the background pictures (use a solid color to make it less distracting)
good luck

[Bill Ross]

I have to agree with A Afaneh - background is distracting!

[Becky jenkins]

First of all well done for getting this far, the site looks professional but the copy in black was too long, none of it was highlighted and I am not sure if visitors would read it? You really do have to grab attention and encourage visitors to read on.

There was no sense or urgency and call to action, a must to get buyers.

Like one of the other commenters I am not an expert but I could be a customer so on that basis I hope that qualfies me to make the comments.

Hope it helps. Becky

[Brittany Lynch]

Are you driving AdWords traffic to the site?

If you are make sure you add a disclaimer, privacy policy, about us, contact us, home , site map page

A lot of people forget to add these pages when using AdWords ...it seriously hurts your quality score by not adding these aspects to your landing page. Even if you aren't using AdWords, in my opinion, it is just good practice to have...

Brittany

[webincomestream]

Firstly, congratulations for getting this far on your first review site. I agree; the black font is blurry and even some images are as well.

It is imperative you fix as many typos and spelling errors as possible as many, although wrongly apply such things to their final decision.

Try to hit hard early with some catchy statement to get anyone to read on and continue to work at it. Do you have any method of collecting contact information? You should always build your list if you can.

[falcon1959]

Hi Justin
I also think you have done well to get where you have so far. My first impression was that the red text right at the top of the page was hard on the eyes and it did make my eyes go a bit blurry.

The page itself I feel is a too long at first I thought I had directly clicked on to the sales page. You have to remember that if you have say used an article to link them to this page then your visitor has already read an article 300 - 400 words long, They then have to plough through your page, and then they have to read through the long sales page.

Your page should be fairly short and to the point giving a short review of the product but also include something negative about it as well. You only need to have a couple of links to the sales page that way your visitor is not going to be to tired by the time they reach the sales page. Let the sales page sell the product your job is to create a quick positive feeling to the potential buyer about the product.

[Michael McMillan]

You have a great looking page Justin! Hope you make a tons of money with it!

I have a few suggestions related to grammar and word usage. I'm not being critical--just trying to help...

You Have:
The hell with all this chit chatter and rambling that takes you normally an hour and a half to read on most review pages.

Better:
The hell with all this chit chat and rambling that normally takes an hour and a half to read on most review pages.

You Have:
This information is simple sweet and straight the point its easy to understandand it has made a substantial difference in my life and it will when you understand how easy and effortless this MassTrafficPPV system is.

Better: This information is simple, sweet, and straight the point. It's easy to understand and it has made a substantial difference in my life. I believe it will make a difference for you when you understand how easy and effortless the MassTrafficPPV system is.

You Have:
I don’t even consider this as work. Feels more like retirement if you ask me!

I love that phrase--it's great !

You Have:
Strap on your seat and prepare to be amazed.

Better:
Strap yourself in and prepare to be amazed.

You Have:
Hey everyone this is Michael Lysingere most of my friends call me Mike for short. You can feel free to call me Mike as well. Let me just start off by saying that if you are looking for me as and internet guru or expect me to refer to myself in that manner then your in the wrong place. I don’t know about you but I am very skeptical of those who claim to be guru’s and like you probably have been I have been screwed over by many of them trying to get to the ” know how” so to say of internet marketing in its various forms. I am just a normal guy who has been through some really tough times and frustration through internet marketing. I have banged my head against a lot of walls and it has depressed me. Today at this present moment and time I can honestly say that banging my head against a wall called Mass ppv Traffic wa s a decision I would not live to regret. Also I am going to keep it short and to the point with this review.

Better: Hey everyone this is Michael Lysingere. Most of my friends call me Mike for short. Feel free to call me Mike as well. Let me just start off by saying that if you are looking at me as an Internet guru, or expect me to refer to myself in that manner, then you're mistaken. I don’t know about you but I am very skeptical of those who claim to be gurus.

I am just a normal guy who has been through some really tough times in Internet marketing. I have banged my head against a lot of walls and it has depressed me. But today I can honestly say that getting involved in Mass PPV Traffic was a decision I do not regret.

You Have:
These are my clickbank stats on a weight loss product created by Joel Marion. The guy who lost weight in 16 weeks you all might have seen him on CBS. Anyway these stats were a perfect representation of how badly I was getting my ass handed to me by clickbank and google adsense. I thought it was a goo product because of the content on his landing page such as video testimonials, written testimonials and international TV exposure of his weight lost program. It was a good product, but I was not applying google adsense correctly.

Better:
These are my Clickbank stats on a weight loss product created by Joel Marion, the guy who lost weight in 16 weeks. You might have seen him on CBS. Anyway, these stats show of how badly I was getting spanked by Clickbank and Google AdSense. I thought it was a good product because of the content on his landing page: video testimonials, written testimonials and international TV exposure of his weight lost program. It was a good product, but I was not applying Google AdSense correctly.

You Have:
I would have thousands of people just clicking my sponsored google ads that I posted through adsense but non of them were converted into buyers. Now keep I this was around the time period were I had just dropped out of college and was looking at this as a quick means to gain a dollar rather than to learn the business itself. So at this point I am frustrated with my paid per click ads and my vain attempts to build an e-mail subscribers list to convince that my product was worth while. I started doing evaluations on my keyword research. One word. Booooorriing. Most of all agonizing. At this point in time in my life I had bought tons of book from these self proclaimed gurus and a bunch of gimmick magic bullet formulas that I wanted to believe would work for me.

Better:
I would have thousands of people just clicking my sponsored Google ads that I posted through AdSense, but non of them were converted into buyers. This was around the time period when I just dropped out of college and was looking to this as a quick means to gain a dollar rather than to learn the business itself. At this point I was frustrated with my pay per click ad results. I started evaluating my keyword research. One one word: Booooorriing.

You Have:
I had nothing else to look forward to. It was either I would succeed at this or I would have to go back to my day job which I was basically on the verge of getting fired from as a result of having an over obnoxious boss and a hectic schedule that was hell to upkeep. I just kept on doing keyword experimentation after experimentation and it was like the more I tried to be clever with my longtail keyword composition the more money I lost biding on keywords that were not drawing any traffic to my sites. For those of us who have dealt with long tail keywords and bidding on keywords that are relevant we know that this is a very tricky thing to do and most of us rather not do it in the first place because it is too much headache even with the advance keyword software that they are putting together nowadays.

Better:
I had nothing to look forward to. It was either I would succeed at this or I would have to go back to my day job. I just kept on doing keyword experimentation, but the more I tried to be clever with my long-tail keyword composition, the more money I lost biding on keywords that were not drawing any traffic to my sites. For those of us who have dealt with long tail keywords and bidding on keywords that are relevant, we know that this is a very tricky thing to do.

TIP: Try to break up your longer paragraphs into shorter ones. You need to keep your information in bite-sized pieces the reader can digest easliy.

I didn't go through the entire page--just a lot of the main text. Hope it helps a bit--good luck!

P.S. Justin, if you'd like, you can download a copy of my Concise Guide To Writing For Internet Marketers. It's free. No opt-in, no ads, no funny stuff. It might be helpful to you (or anyone else who wants a copy).

http://niche-control-marketing.com//wrtrs-guide.pdf

--Mike